the bittersweet road home

By | change, choosing, courage, devotional, failure, God, home, spiritual disciplines, Suffering | No Comments

Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.”  But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.”  So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” -John 4:31-34 I sat in the car watching the scenery of the southwest speed by…

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when we watch and pray

By | devotional, grace, Joy, lessons in life, love, prayer, Suffering | One Comment

Then [Jesus] said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me…

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Glimpses of Glory From Our Trip to South Africa

By | faith, God, God's presence, hope, lessons in life, ministry, problems, Suffering | 4 Comments

Morgan and I went to a ministry conference in South Africa last week. I am still sleeping when I‘m supposed to be awake and awake when I’m supposed to be asleep, so forgive me if this post has a stream of consciousness that only a two year old would find acceptable. I am so tired that I have basically become a two year-old: I can’t nap even though I’m exhausted, all I want to eat…

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the speck in my eye (and tooth)

By | article, devotional, problems, Suffering | No Comments

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” -James 1:2 “To have courage for whatever comes in life – everything lies in that.” -St. Theresa of Avila A few days ago I went to the dentist for the second time in a month. Clearly, I am a girl who knows where to go to have a good time. I…

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drama and parenting and finding the grace to be imperfect

By | article, failure, momhood, Motherhood, Suffering | No Comments

“Son though he was, [Jesus] learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him…” Hebrews 5:8-9 When my children were very young, I lived in fear of their drama. There were days I thought I would not be able to handle one more meltdown over the color of a sippy cup. The depth of mourning a toddler can produce simply because a piece of toast…

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what a mom does when her kid is puking

By | article, momhood, Motherhood, Suffering | No Comments

I learned last night that if a 12 year-old boy who usually eats more than his other three siblings combined, tells you he “isn’t really all that hungry” at dinner, he is about to puke for the next eight hours. Stomach bugs are the super most bestest!Here’s what you do when your preteen boy is sick: You sit on the bathroom floor and promise him he isn’t going to die. When he moans, “Why is…

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hey grieving heart

By | article, friendship, grace, Suffering | No Comments

Hey there, grieving heart, I see you.I know you by sight and by feel and by smell. I have held you shaking in my arms, salty tears streaming down my shoulder. I have seen you crack and hide and run away from the light. I have heard your cries, and I know your weariness.I suppose there are people who believe you are an enigma, or at the very least a rarity here in this western…

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when sad stories make space for hope of redemption

By | article, hope, Suffering | No Comments

Today, there seem to be fires and smoke everywhere I turn. Yesterday brought a few sad stories my way. Today I carry in prayer the weight of life’s pain, and my mind rests in the hope of redemption. Because, in one way or another, haven’t we seen this all happen before? I grew up in Southern California, in east Orange County, where Santa Ana winds blow sparks into wildfires and mud slides pull houses down…

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for lent: still fighting

By | article, courage, God, Suffering | One Comment

from I am up long before dawn, coffee by my side, heart churning with the day ahead. Then I check Facebook and this meme with Exodus 14:14 pops up on my feed. It stuns me once again, the way the word of God is sharp and living. I am breathless and broken as it pierces my heart and weighs more within my mind than twelve words should weigh. Because it’s Lent and we Christian…

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we are the children of victory

By | article, faith, lessons in life, problems, spiritual disciplines, Suffering | No Comments

I pushed back our start time for homeschooling on Thursday morning so I could tackle some boxes and piles in the guest room. I have relegated the book boxes there, and there are a lot of them. I unpacked half a dozen or so last week, and the books were still strewn and stacked in organized chaos on the bed. I found a framed snapshot of our first dance at our wedding in the mix…

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