Mr. Fantastic flew away for a night and I spent the evening painting, eating chocolate, and scanning the internet.
Isn’t Twitter fantastic?
All the wisdom of the ages is at our fingertips every time we scan those tweets. Philosophers, theologians, great thinkers, philanthropists, presidents, authors; quotes of all kinds scroll through the feed all day and all night.
Last night I stared at a tweet and my heart swelled when I read this:
“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
And there it is, like an explosion that causes my own heart to implode.
I do not demand love from my spouse because he married me. I cling to my vows because they are the spring from which our love flows.
We marry because we love. But the day for all of us comes when we must love because we are married.
Don’t shy away from that day. Don’t feel cheated or jipped when that day comes. Embrace it. Love it. Live the vows that were so precious when you wore a white dress and promised to love through the storms. Those promises still hold your love securely.
Modern women are supposed to be so strong, though. We are supposed to stand up for our rights, expect to be given all we feel we deserve. We definitely shouldn’t let a man get away with anything.
I suppose if that is true, then marriage is old-fashioned. And, if marriage is old-fashioned, then so are forgiveness, loyalty, mercy, and love; there has never been a healthy marriage that didn’t contain vast quantities of all of those.
So, good. I like the idea that marriage has vintage qualities. I know mine bears a particular patina that increases its value as the years go by.
Today in my heart I am once again holding on to something old- my vows, something new- my joy, something borrowed- that lovely quote, and something blue- that funny little twitter sign.
My heart is all caved in here, friends. I can’t wait for Mr. Fantastic to get home tonight.
Our marriage will sustain our love. What a beautiful truth to hold on to.