hey, jesus, here’s what we really want in 2020

By March 3, 2020article
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” 41 And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
-Mark 4:35-41


I’ve been waking up at five in the morning for a few months now. I’m avoiding my phone as much as possible until nine o’clock. I’m hunting the pages of the Bible like I often scour the aisles of a store, longing for something I can’t name that will make me braver and fill me with hope. 

Have you ever just wished you could manifest some better version of yourself because suddenly your circumstances require more than you seem to have to offer?

The disciples faced something similar on a little boat trip across the Sea of Galilee.

I heard all about when a pastor/friend of ours from Los Angeles visited our church and preached on Mark 4. Jesus was asleep in a boat and the disciples were terrified they would all die. They woke Jesus up and were kind of testy with him. (How can you be SLEEPING, Jesus??) Jesus told them they were big wimps who had no faith, then he calmed the storm and rescued them. These disciples were amazed that he could control the weather. They were shocked that Jesus saved them. 

Which made me wonder, why did the disciples wake Jesus up? What, specifically, did they expect Jesus to do since they clearly hadn’t expected he would take control of all the elements and rescue them?

chris farley idk GIF

At the end of the sermon, Pastor Dihan prayed we would have the courage to lie down in the boat with Jesus when the storm rages around us; when we feel pressed to save ourselves through our own abilities; when we are afraid God has forgotten about us.

I suppose this was a new and foreign idea to me, because for over two months now, I’ve been in a constant state of movement and action, trying to keep rowing through a very busy season of life, in which I have been reminding God quite often that I’m in over my head. 

Here’s a gif recap of my life in 2020 so far:


Season 5 Episode #108 GIF by Friends

let's do it season 3 GIF by Power
you got this grace helbig GIF by This Might Get


work working GIF

this is tiring season 3 GIF by Gilmore Girls

March (so far):

swamp people work GIF

**Note: This man is doing so many things right, but mostly I applaud his overalls. Overalls are the new leggings. Please give them the respect they are due.

i have no idea GIF by PBS

When I look around me, I get the feeling we’re all in pretty deep water these days. I went to Costco on Monday in the midst of a multitude of people preparing for what is possibly the End of the World As We Know It. We are afraid of germs everywhere. We are drowning in election news. We are (supposedly) washing our hands at long last.

season 1 nbc GIF by New Amsterdam

I wish my first thought when the ride gets a little bumpy wasn’t to change something about myself or to wake God up and accuse him of not really helping me when I need him. It’s important to bookmark the truth that self-help and blame are how we lose some of the best parts of who we are, as well as our grasp on who God really is.

When we improve ourselves or get cynical about God, we forget that we are his beloved children and that his plans for us are to prosper us and make us whole. Every time we chastise ourselves for not being enough, God is shrugging his shoulders at us a little because he’s not a life coach who woke up to make us more capable to handle our life today; he is the Lord of All who rose from the dead to give us eternal life. 

Believe it or not, God actually thinks we’re pretty great as we are— funny and weak and in need of him in every possible way.

fred rogers roger that GIF

In 2020, let’s lie down next to Jesus, even in the storms we have caused with our own error and sin. Even when we’re big wimps who have no faith. 

No matter how strong the winds or how high the waves may be, the spiritual boat we’re in with him is bound for glory. I guess what I’m saying is we might as well lean back and let Jesus tell us when to sleep and when to row.

Today, let’s put down our oars and take a breather next to him. Reach your hand out and let Jesus give you what you really want: his peace.

It’s all going to be okay.


Lord, today I’m tossing my attempts to row myself out of this storm overboard and I’m choosing to trust that you have it all under control. Remind me again how wide and deep and strong your love for me is. Fill me with your peace and help me find true rest in who you are: Lord of all, Savior of the World, and my divine Rescuer.


Join the discussion 48 Comments

  • Joanna says:

    That’s a good word right there!

    • Denise Soucy says:

      I am back in my childhood home with my Mom who has dementia helping to care for her. This is the most difficult journey I have been on…the most unpredictable of roller coasters. I am grateful for finding the humor and the spiritual insights I see in your writing.

      • Carrie Stephens says:

        Bless you for loving you mom through this season. I will be praying for you.❤️❤️

        • Misty says:

          Oh my gosh, yes girl! So good and those gifs are the best! Lol love reading everything you write ❤️

  • shannon says:

    I enjoyed reading your post for the first time.

  • Deb says:

    For some reason whenever I hear that story in Mark I think of Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump 😊. We rage at God….we rage at the storm….and yet after we exhaust our freak out moment, we come into the peace of God. Love that God loves us with such grace everyday.

    • Carrie Stephens says:

      😂😂😂 I always think of when Bob asks to be tied to the mast in What about Bob. “I’m sailing!! I’m a sailor!!” 😂😂😂

    • Alicia McCarthy says:

      I loved this post. First time I’ve read one since I heard you at ENC conference

    • Carrie Stephens says:

      Hi Deb! You are one of the winners! COngratulations! Email me (or text me) and tell me if you want a physical copy mailed to you (or someone else) or an ebook copy!

  • bonnie fuhrman says:

    Yes….lie down beside Jesus and breathe in His peace… Thank you, Carrie – I’m breathing in His peace right now…

  • Lizz Small says:

    I love the idea of explaining how the year is going in gifs!! LOL

  • Marcie Smith says:

    Love you! Need this book like the last supper needed tableside guacamole!

    • Carrie Stephens says:

      I hope you win!

    • Grace Hoyt says:

      I’ve had many freak out moments that have left me lying in my Father’s arms, choosing to believe that regardless of how I feel or what circumstances look like, I can trust Him and He is good. Love this post. Thank you for sharing!

  • Rachel Day says:

    I’ve already bought two copies of Holy Guacamole (one for me and one for my best friend on her birthday)! If I win, I will give the extra copies to more sweet friends and family. 😊

  • LaTanya B says:

    In 2020, let’s lie down next to Jesus, even in the storms we have caused with our own error and sin. Even when we’re big wimps who have no faith.

    “No matter how strong the winds or how high the waves may be, the spiritual boat we’re in with him is bound for glory. ” I loved this line. It’s our amazing hope! In 2019 we lost 2 children and the storm didn’t stop there. But the peace we experienced through the aftermath was tangible and specific. This post is so encouraging and wonderful reminder of who Christ is to us everyday. The promise that he is with us in the storm is my greatest assurance for the future. Keep going sis! Every blog makes me laugh and smile and reflect all at the same time. All the best.

  • Emily Potter says:

    I’m super thankful that I stumbled upon your writing this year. As a pastor’s wife AND a pastor, some days I struggle with my worth and contributions. It was eye opening to read about your experiences. ♡

    • Carrie Stephens says:

      The struggle is real. 😂😂 I’m grateful to be in this with so many other faithful women. ❤️❤️

  • Misty says:

    Oh my gosh, yes girl! So good and those gifs are the best 🤣 love reading everything you write ❤️

  • Amanda Fisher says:

    You are hilarious. I have absolutely loved your blog posts since stumbling across your blog. I myself am on a brand new 2020 journey of writing and speaking. Baby stages and it feels so good. I love your authenticity. Girl take it slow and be sure to rest so you can keep writing more books. So excited to read Holy Quacamole. Oh and I love your Instagram I have been sharing your posts with friends at work and the laughter is spreading. Always stay awesome. I will continue praying!

  • Tami Theobald says:

    Thanks for this! Amen.

  • Heather says:

    My gift is words. I have a lot. My struggle has always been to find the perfect ones. 😂 funny, right?!? I have spent a lot of time lately in that boat in Mark 4, leaning into His promise that we are going to the other side, learning that the storms are irrelevant in His presence, finding the joy and the peace in midst of the fire. Thank you for sharing your words; they are beautiful, powerful, and inspired.

  • Kara says:

    I found you through Proverbs 31…yay! I’m not in a very difficult time at the moment other than self inflicted worrying about my family which I pray about daily. I’m so glad I found your blog and I think now I will order your book 🙂

  • Alissa says:

    I want to lie down and trust too!! Yes, Lord! And the gifs are everything 🙂